Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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