wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
