Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
