he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
