He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
