sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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