Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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