and you said cock pushups were impossible
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize