i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize