First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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