Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
