Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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