Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
