I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
