once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
