Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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