I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
