I can tuck mytits in my pants
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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