Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
