okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
