you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
