She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
