just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
