I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
