my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
