I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
