Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
