giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
