I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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