You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
