They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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