My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
