I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
