The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I touched a dick in church today
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
