I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
