And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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