I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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