You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
