He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I touched a dick in church today
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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