I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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