Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
