he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
