Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
