He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
