yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
