I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
