hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
