Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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