Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
