So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
