im drinking this country out of the recession.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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