arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
