My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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