i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
