i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
