I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
