I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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