i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is Oprah even human
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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