a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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