Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
