I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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